Tonight, after another 3 hours of IV, Lautrec wasn't doing any better...last night, he got up and vomited, but did not drink or pee. The doctor said that after 2 days of IV we should have seen a difference...today was the 5th day..so the vet said the only thing to do would be to operate and see what is inside.
At 8:15 this evening - Sunday - Lautrec was prepared for his operation...I held him while the narcosis took effect...talking to him and singing his song to him and telling him all the sweet words I always told him. I thanked him for all the love he brought to me and all that he taught me and told him that if he wanted to stay, I would be right here waiting for him, but that I would understand if he needed to go.
At 8:45, the vet came and told us that Lautrec had massive and extensive cancer. Unoperable. I went to see him...open with his insides showing all the sickness that he had been carrying around in silence and suffering from. While he was still breathing, but under narcosis, I had a last chance to kiss his sweet soft head and to tell him that I will love him forever and that I will wait for him to come back to me as he did before. (I firmly believe that Lautrec was the reincarnation of my first Siamese cat Lao'tza, whom I loved with equal passion).
I am just devastated and after bawling my eyes out for hours am completely exhausted. It all happened so fast and I never even knew he had cancer. And now, I am just aching through my entire body in the wake of his leaving...my sweet, sweet boy. I take comfort in knowing that he no longer hurts and suffers - for he was surely hurting and suffering these last days, of that I am sure...this is what helps me to accept his departure. Now, it is I that suffers...the enormous hole that he has left in my life and the lives of Tiny, Ellwood and Ginger (who loved her Uncle Lolo so much).
Good by Baby, good bye.......I LOVED YOU SO MUCH AND ALWAYS WILL.
LoLOVE FOREVER. RIP.