Sunday, 8 January 2012

Good bye LoLOVE...good bye my sweet boy...

Tonight, after another 3 hours of IV, Lautrec wasn't doing any better...last night, he got up and vomited, but did not drink or pee. The doctor said that after 2 days of IV we should have seen a difference...today was the 5th day..so the vet said the only thing to do would be to operate and see what is inside.

At 8:15 this evening - Sunday - Lautrec was prepared for his operation...I held him while the narcosis took effect...talking to him and singing his song to him and telling him all the sweet words I always told him. I thanked him for all the love he brought to me and all that he taught me and told him that if he wanted to stay, I would be right here waiting for him, but that I would understand if he needed to go.

At 8:45, the vet came and told us that Lautrec had massive and extensive cancer. Unoperable. I went to see him...open with his insides showing all the sickness that he had been carrying around in silence and suffering from. While he was still breathing, but under narcosis, I had a last chance to kiss his sweet soft head and to tell him that I will love him forever and that I will wait for him to come back to me as he did before. (I firmly believe that Lautrec was the reincarnation of my first Siamese cat Lao'tza, whom I loved with equal passion).

I am just devastated and after bawling my eyes out for hours am completely exhausted. It all happened so fast and I never even knew he had cancer. And now, I am just aching through my entire body in the wake of his leaving...my sweet, sweet boy. I take comfort in knowing that he no longer hurts and suffers - for he was surely hurting and suffering these last days, of that I am sure...this is what helps me to accept his departure. Now, it is I that suffers...the enormous hole that he has left in my life and the lives of Tiny, Ellwood and Ginger (who loved her Uncle Lolo so much).

Good by Baby, good bye.......I LOVED YOU SO MUCH AND ALWAYS WILL.

LoLOVE FOREVER. RIP.

91 comments:

FURKIDSMOM said...

Our hearts hurt for you. We know Lautrec is in a better place, but we also know the pain you are feeling. One of the bad things we kitties do is hide how we feel until it is often too late to help us. Don't blame yourself. Lautrec knows you loved him and always will.

The Florida Furkids

GTnCo said...

we are so sad for you and your family. at least lautrec and you had good long years together. we hope you will find your love again.

Fisher and Staff said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is so heartbreaking and through your tears, you are strong. I believe our animals know when it is time for them to move on, and sometimes they stay a little extra time because they know we need that. They also know the best time for us is never, but they know we will heal; they know their love for us if firmly planted in our hearts, and we will eventually be at peace with that. Hugs and Purrs to you.

Kea said...

I am so, so sorry. Oh, I wish you could know how sorry I am. I'm absolutely devastated, am bawling my eyes out, can barely type. Lolo is, was and always will be one of my favourite CB kitties.

Please know that a lot of us are heartbroken along with you.

I'm sending universal Light and hugs, wishing you peace and blessings, and the boys are purring softly.

Godspeed, Lolo.

-Kim, Nicki and Derry

Katnip Lounge said...

Our hearts are aching for you, it is always too soon to leave. Do NOT second guess, Lolo would be sad to know you are being hard on yourself. He loved you unconditionally--and we him. He will be missed so much by so many.

Godspeed, sweet Lautrec, until you reappear again someday.

Love, The Lounge Kats and Mommy Trish

Lucy the Cat said...

I am so, so sorry and so sad to hear this news about the dearest, sweetest boy, sweet Lolo. Like Trish said, there is absolutely nothing to second guess. Lautrec was such a very special kitty and it was an absolute joy to know him through blogging. He will be missed by all of us.

Hugs,
Vicki

The Island Cats said...

Oh no! We are so very sorry to hear about Lolo!! We are so heartbroken, too.

Godspeed, Lolo...we will miss you very much!

Eric and Flynn said...

We are so very sorry to hear of your sad loss. we send our comforting purrs to you.

Deb said...

I'm so sorry to read this. There are no words to make it easier. I just hope that you know that he knew he was loved and that is so special. Take care now. Hugs, Deb=^..^=x4

Mumsy and Furkids said...

We are so sorry to hear of the loss of your sweet Lolo. What a sad and hard time for you right now. We are sending up prayers for you and may your sweet boy rest in peace. Hugs and nose kisses

Jan's Funny Farm said...

We too are sorry to learn about Lautrec's cancer. We know you did everything you could because you loved him, including letting him go. We send a hug, lots of comforting purrs and woofs.

Sabrina, Sam and Simon said...

We are so sorry and so sad to hear that Lautrec has left you to venture on to the Bridge. We are sending you our most heartfelt purrs and prayers, and our brofur Max is there to greet him ...
Hugs, purrs and headbutts,
Sabrina, Sam, Simon and Momma Jan too

Old Kitty said...

Me and my cat Charlie have just come over from Fuzzy Tales. We are so so so so so sorry to hear adorable and brave brave Lautrec has passed. How devastating for all of you. We are truly sorry. Please please take care,
Lots of purrs and hugs
x

Teri and the cats of Curlz and Swirlz said...

We are blinking back tears, as we know how that feels. After our Daddy died, 'his' kitty was failing and an exploratory showed cancer, too...we let him go and treasure the extra time we had with him...it is never long enough for those we love, though.

This is Teri's most favorite poem, that has comforted her though times like this...we hope it comforts you...

And God asked the feline spirit
Are you ready to come home?
Oh, yes, quite so, replied the precious soul
And, as a cat, you know I am most able
To decide anything for myself.

Are you coming then? asked God.
Soon, replied the whiskered angel
But I must come slowly
For my human friends are troubled
For you see, they need me, quite certainly.

But don't they understand? asked God
That you'll never leave them?
That your souls are intertwined. For all eternity?
That nothing is created or destroyed?
It just is....forever and ever and ever.

Eventually they will understand,
Replied the glorious cat
For I will whisper into their hearts
That I am always with them
I just am....forever and ever and ever.

Brian said...

My sisters and I are so very, very sorry to hear about that sweet Lolo. Our hearts ache for you and we know the pain. Lolo shall live in all of our hearts forever.

Simba said...

We came over from Fuzzy Tales. We are so so sorry for your loss.

Purrs,
Simba, Audrey and Mom

Cindy F. Adkins said...

I, too, came over to your blog from Fuzzy Tales. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. As I read your post, I started crying as I could feel your pain. I also know what it's like to lose a beloved furry friend...and words are just not enough. The only bad thing about having these dear creatures in our lives is when it's time for them to leave us, it's so painful. Lolo was well loved and you have him a beautiful life.
Hugs, Cindy, Buster, Rudy and Sam

Tillie and Georgia said...

We are so very sorry that Lautrec has gone to the Bridge. No matter how right it was to help him, it hurts to see them go.
We wish we could help with your pain.All we can do is send you comforting purrs.
Purrs Tillie and Georgia,
Tiger,Treasure and JJ

AttieCattie said...

oh mine long suffering sweet and silent Lautrec. how mine little heart is breaking. i has no words to tells you how i wish i could has said goodbye. i shall never love another mancat, my sweet. you will always remain in mine memory. i hope your mommeh knows she can writes to us wif her guilt if she feels she needs any halps.

Rene said...

We are so sorry for your loss. We are sending gentle purrs and good thoughts. "Rise up slowly, Angel. It's so hard to let you go."

Prancer Pie said...

Our hearts are breaking fur you. And fur us. Lolo was such a beautiful boy, inside and out. Purrs, purrayers and whisker kisses being sent to you tonight. xoxo

ABBY said...

We are all so very very sorry for your loss. We will light our candle and purr and send our strongest purrayers.

(((hugs)))
Abby

meowmeowmans said...

We are devastated to hear that sweet Lolo has gone to the Bridge. Our hearts ache for you, since we know how much you loved him. Thank you for loving him so very much. Please know that we are sending purrs and prayers of comfort to you.

Fly free, Lolo. We will never, every forget you, dear friend.

Cory said...

Oh no!!! We stopped by to check in hoping for some good news. We are crying our eyes out over our dear furriend Lautrec, Lolo, Lolove....oh my....wah!!!!!!!!!

We know that he had such an awesome life surrounded by love and the love of his furriends around the world.

Safe voyage across the Bridge my furriend. Until we meet again.

Soft purrs of comfort to Tiny, Ellwood, Ginger and his humans.

xoxo

Cory, Ellie, Ginger, Jonesie, Bennette, Figaro, Cecilia, Nigel, Madison and Grete

ArtemisiaFSS said...

We are so very, very sorry to hear about sweet Lolo. Our hearts ache for you, Lolo shall live in all of our hearts forever.

The Lee County Clowder said...

We are so, so sorry to hear that. Sending our best comforting purrrrayers to you all.

{{{hugg}}}

Cathy Keisha said...

I'm here to pay my respects. Lautrec know that he was loved and I'm sure that helped him all through the drips. Fly free, Lautrec.

Sparkle said...

I am so, so sorry to hear this, and everyone here is upset over Lolo too. We kitties are so good at hiding our illnesses - at least you were there for him all through his illness. My heart goes out to you.

Cheysuli and gemini said...

We are so sad to hear about Lautrec--our purrs.

~*Connie*~ said...

While such an emotional time, you seemed to handle it with such grace and love. Losing a loved one is never easy. I hope you are blessed with meeting Lolo again.

The Misadventures Of Me said...

Im so sorry, your words have brought tears to my eyes. May he soar high.

(((hugs)))
Mom Laure

headbutts and purrs,

Molly
Shadow
Trooder
Mooch
Foster Mustachio

Mark's Mews said...

We did not know Lautrec, but we are here to offer purrs of comfort for your sad loss of such a beloved kitty...

Barb's Cats and Quilts said...

I, too, came from Fuzzy Tales and am so sorry for your loss of such a precious cat.

BragonDorn said...

Very sad story :/ Sorry for your loss.

vic said...

So sorry to hear of Lolo's passing. He seemed to be such a sweet boy and I know how much you will miss him in the days to come.

Victoria, Handsome, Grace and Scout

Junior, Orion and Sammy said...

Oh no, we are so very sorry to read this. We has tears falling for our precious furiend Lolo. We are glad he is no longer suffering from that nasty cancer, but we know how much he will be missed. We are sending our best purrs and comforting gentle headbutts for the rest of you.

((HUGS))

Meowm Rhonda, Junior, Orion and Sammy

Punapippuri said...

We are so very sad to read this. So very sad. And we know Äiti will cry loads more today. You did everything you could for Lol, and you loved him so much. It is always too soon when this happens, and never right, but you know that he is safe over the bridge now. And he cannot hurt anymore. Please try to think of all the good stuff and not the last few days of pain.
And there will be many candles lit all over the blogosphere tonight for him.
With much love and purrs, Punapippuri and gang, and Äiti xxxx

SquirrelQueen said...

I am so very sorry for your loss of dear, sweet Lautrec. It broke my heart to read your post. Please don't try to second guess your actions, you did all you could.
We are sending loving thoughts your way.

Photo Cache said...

Our hearts are with you furmama.


Purrs and headbutts,
Emma and Buster

Laura and Taffeta Rose said...

We are so sorry for the loss of your beloved boy, Lautrec. You gave him the best care possible, and he knew he was much loved. Gentle hugs and comforting purrs to you. Run free, Lautrec!

Cat said...

Oh this is such heartbreaking news!!! I really am so very sorry, Lautrec was such a lovely boy. Please accept my sincere condolences.

Sweet Purrfections said...

I am so sorry to hear about Lautrec. My Sweet Praline died of cancer in April and it just takes over so quickly. My thoughts and prayers are with you are you grieve over the loss of your sweet furbaby.

Mom Paula

Raymond and Busby said...

Purring for you all.

Samantha, Clementine and Maverick said...

Lots of purrrs and prayers for Lolo's family!! We will miss you Lautrec!!
Your TX furiends,

Forty Paws said...

We are so very sorry that he had cancer and that he crossed over. We are sending you hugs and purrs and purrayers during this very difficult time. We know that it is very painful, as we have lost 2 to cancer over the past year as well.

Luf, Us and Maw

Karen Jo said...

I am so very sad that Lolo had to go to the Rainbow Bridge. I am sure that he is having a great time over there with all the other cats.

ML, KC & Kitties said...

We are heartbroken to learn that sweet Lautrec, aka Lolo, ran off to the Bridge.
We loved reading about him and will miss him very much.
This is one of my favorite poems on cats, Cat Heaven:

Cat Heaven

The way to Cat Heaven is a field of sweet grass,
where crickets and butterflies play.
A cat may be late getting to Heaven...
there is so much fun on the way!

But an angel will wait at the yellow front door,
and wait till a kitty comes home.
And when she arrives, he'll give her a kiss
and some milk in a bowl of her own.

There are trees in Cat Heaven,
trees made just for cats,
trees growing so green and so high.
But, no one gets stuck in a tree anymore--
if a kitty wants down, she will fly!

And, oh all the toys, kitty toys everywhere,
thousands and thousands go by.
There are buttons and baubles and small catnip leaves
all afloat in the sky.

There are angels, of course, with soft angel laps,
where kitties can purr loud and strong.
The angels will rub kitties' noses and ears,
and sing them a Cat Heaven song.

And when cats are hungry, there is God's kitchen counter--
all covered with white kitty dishes,
full of tuna and salmon and mounds of sardines
and wonderful little pink fishes.

The cats in Cat Heaven are so loved and spoiled,
God lets them all lie on his bed...
He walks in his garden with his wonderful Book
and a kitty asleep on his head.

Then when a cat needs to, she may simply ponder
and watch the blue world deep and wide.
She will watch the old house where she once lived and wandered,
and the people who loved her inside.

All cats love Heaven, they know the way there,
they know where the angel cats fly.
They will turn past the stars and the moon and the sun
to curl up with God in the sky.

~Cynthia Rylant


We are sending purrs and purrayers to you and family.
Love,
KC
Missy Blue Eyes
Faith Boomerang
Sol
Smokey
Brutus Jr.
Mom ML

Au and Target said...

Oh how awful. Please know we're thinking about you in this difficult time. Purrs and headbutts, Target, Au and Guido.

The Cat Guy said...

My heart hurts for your loss of Lautrec.

Many hugs and purrs.

Milo and Alfie Marshall said...

Our heart aches for the loss of our sweet friend ~ and also because we understand the pain you his family must be going through. We are so very sorry and sad and shocked. Please accept our sweetest most loving condolances. We will so miss your beautiful boy so much. Purrs.

RIP beautiful soul Lautrec. We will meet again at the Bridge. xx

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Bibi-Chan, Gen-Chan, Vidock said...

Our sadness is immeasurable at the thought that sweet LoLove is gone and we can imagine the depth of your pain. Our dear friends and companions make for themselves places in the deepest recesses of our heart and when they leave, it is almost unbearable. Lolo was such a character and we just loved following his adventures. We know he will come back to you and that, until then, he will fill your heart with his love.

Please give Tiny a special snuggle for us.

Purrs, Woofs, Neighs and Hugs,
Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Bibi-Chan, Gen-Chan, Tommy, Vidock and #1

Huffle Mawson said...

I'm so sorry about Lautrec.

Everycat said...

We send you love and rumbly purrs to ease you amidst the loss of your beautiful boy Lautrec. We hope that in time, beautiful and happy memories will fill your heart

Love from
Gerry & Oliver

Daisy said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy Lautrec. What a special kitty he was. Thank you for sharing him with us.

Rest in peace, Lolo. You were a very Good Boy.

Jacqueline said...

Oh no, this was such a shock and I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious Lautrec=he was a beautiful, special boy and will be missed by so many...Wishing you all peace and comfort at this time of sorrow...Always loved, never forgotten, forever cherished...hugs to you all, sweet friends...J, Calle, Halle, Sukki

Marg said...

Oh No, we just heard. We are so sad. We are sending lots of purrs and some gigantic hugs to Mom. It is so hard to lose our furry friends. It does leave a huge hole in our hearts when they leave but they are so much happier and running free. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

ZOOLATRY said...

It is with heartfelt sadness that we send our prayers, and our purrs to you on the loss of beautiful Lautrec.
If you would be kind enough to email us, we've made a Memory Picture for you that we'd like to send. zoolatry@gmail.com
Maggy and Zoey,
and Ann

The Meezers or Billy said...

we are so very sorry for your loss. we are sending many purrrss and prayers to you.

Lautrec, it's so hard to say good bye to friends so we will just say
Until we meet at the Bridge

The Furry Bambinos said...

Oh, how our hearts ache and eyes leak for you. Both Mohawk and Clyde also had cancer, and by the time we knew it, it was too late. Our vet told us that cats hide how sick they really are from us. Because that is what they do in nature - to show weakness or sickness is dangerous to their survival in the wild.

We understand fully how painful this is for you right now. Know that you loved Lolo, and he loved you, which is the true meaning of life.

Gentle Purrs,
Mom Sue and The Furry Bambinos: Padre, Panda Bear, Meerkat, Cookie, Caramel, Sunny, Sky, and Mama Rose

Laila and Minchie said...

Our hearts are just breaking for you. (((HUGS))) and purrs.

Madi and Mom said...

Oh Ms. Cat..mom and I are so very sorry to read of Lolo's passing.
What a gentle soul he was and such a stately Gentleman always.

Each furbaby leaves a permanent paw print on our heart.

Mom says to tell you to watch carefully for a quiet visit from Lolo. No she is not crazy but really and truly after Milky-Way passed there were times she would hear crunching from where his feeding area.

He was the ultimate digger in his box. Mom said you could hear him digging all over the house. The box was here in the office above the family room. A few weeks after he passed, she was alone downstairs all of a sudden she heard MW's signature digging.

And finally both she and Dad saw MW's shadow with his tail flying high walk the the foyer.

Mom said MW's little soul came to tell her he loved her and to thank her for loving him and taking such good care and to let her knw he was
running free and no longer struggling.

Many hugs and lots of purrs,
C and Madi

SASS....Sammy Andy Shelly Sierra said...

We are so sad to hear Lolo had to leave. We send our love, purrs and prayers to y'all in hopes they will somehow help you in this difficult time.

xxxxxxx

Hannah and Lucy said...

We are so sorry to hear this and send lots of purrs and whiskery kisses.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Selina said...

Purrs to you & Lolo ... MomKatt & I wish him a safe journey to the Bridge ... we're purring for, and thinking of, you ...

Selina & MomKatt Laura

Pattie @ On Hollyhock Farm said...

I am sooooo sorry for your loss! We just lost our kitty, Nicky, Dec. 29th! It's bad. You look at every one of their fav spots!
A medium says that all my animals are with me. So your little Lolo will be with you.
Hugs and prayers to you and yours.

SuziQCat said...

We are so sorry for your loss. Lautrec was a special boy for sure. We are sending purrs your way. Although Lautrec is gone, he will not be forgotten. Rest in Peace sweet boy.

~Four Crazy Cats

Random Felines said...

We are SO sorry about Lautrec. Please don't blame yourself...maybe he was just saving you from having to make even harder decision.... we know he is healthy again over the Bridge and was greeted well!

ra husky said...

Softest husky woooooos,

RA

CCL Wendy said...

I am so, so sorry for your devastating loss. Lolo was a brave boy right up until the end. He never let you know how he was suffering.

Just know that he is well and happy on the Bridge and he will visit you in your thoughts and dreams whenever you need him.

Lautrec was a beloved pussycat around the world and has left a legacy of love.

My heart goes out to you in this time of grief.

Layla ( Cat Wisdom 101) said...

We heard from the CB about your loss and hope you find some comfort from our loving and supportive cat community. We send healing purrs...

Admiral Hestorb said...

I am so sorry..so deeply sorry for your pain and loss. I understand completely having just gone thru that for my baby girl but for a different reason.

They are a part of us. That part is so firmly within us it will always and ever be there.

You lost a precious loving family member, your baby boy and the pain of that is overwhelming I know. But he is in your heart for ever and ever. And he loved you just as much as you loved him. He knew that great love.

Know that we here on the CB are praying for you and we are as close as we can get..ready to be an ear and an understanding heart for you. We all understand.

Love and Hugs,

Mom Carole

Julia Williams said...

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved kitty. Many years ago, I lost one of mine to cancer in an eerily similar way. I send my purrs and will pray for your heart top heal from this great loss.

Josie said...

Sending you love, light, and hugs. I'm very sorry for your loss.
-Josie and the kitty kids.

LP said...

We have come over from Fuzzy Tales who let us know of your sad news. We know how difficult it is to lose your heart's joy and love-to be forced to let him go without realizing how ill he was. We had that happen with our baby Lewis , last march.He was gone suddenly at four years old , in less than twenty -four hours.We hope your pain is lessened knowing Lolo no longer suffers, and knowing that he was loved , loved, loved.Rest in peace , dear one.
LP and the critters in The Cottage xo

3 kats and a kwiltr said...

Snuggles and purrs during this difficult time.
Taz, Runt, Charles and mommy, Anna, in IL

Repositório said...

I´m so very sorry!

The Crew said...

Oh my goodness. We're so very sorry to hear such sad news. We know Lautrec was well loved and will be missed terribly.

The Crew & Crew's Mom

Melody said...

Even though I did not know your Lolo..Im very sadened by your loss. I cried over your post and cried over some of the sweetest comments I've ever read. When we lose a cat here in the CB world it effects so many people. Cause anyone in the CB world loves all cats and that includes me. I just love them all and so sad when any sweet kitty baby passes. Somewhere over the Rainbow Bridge there are Fields and Streams where you can let your soul run free. Run Free Lolo..Run Free...........

Harry Spotter said...

I am so sorry for your heart breaking loss of your sweet boy. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Cat Chat With Caren And Cody said...

I can't begin to tell you how my heart aches from reading this...my heart is just breaking for you...I wish I could be there to give you a hug.

What a brave, boy he was. To suffer so bravely, never letting on that he was in pain. I can't even imagine how you must feel.

I am deeply sorry...he was such a precious boy.

Father Tom said...

So sorry to hear of Lautrec's passing. Our hearts beat so in sync with those we love. We share your pain and understand the closeness of such a bond. xoxoxo

Purrs,
Tom, Mittens & mom Julie

Terri said...

We are so sad to hear the news about Lautrec. Our kitties rarely ever let us know when they are suffering. That is the way of the wild. We are sending lots of hugs and purrs your way.

Ikaika said...

We are so very sorry that Lautrec had to leave you. He was a much loved boy. Kitties are so good at hiding their illnesses, which may serve them well in the wild. We send you gentle purrs and headbumps.

Run free at the Bridge, sweet Lautrec ...

Clooney said...

We are so very sorry to hear this news. What a special and precious love you shared with your boy. We wrap you in thoughts of love and send you our gentlest purrs. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Be Well Sweet Lautrec

Tucker said...

Hello, I did not get the chance to meet LoLove before his passing but I wanted to let you know we are very sorry for your loss. My kitteh sister Ellie and my evil kitteh brudder TRoubles are probably giving LoLove the grand tour at the bridge so he is not alone.

woof - Tucker

Mango the Maltese kiddo said...

Jan's funny farm sent me.
I'm so sorry to hear about Lautrec's passing. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Run free, pain free Lautrec, we all miss you.
Hugs,

Anonymous said...

When I lost my beautiful young golden retriever pup last year two things helped. a chat room at www.aplb.org, make sure you register using your own name - they will ask you your pet's name during the first session. It is a safe place to visit and many of us arrived there wrecked by our loss. They have grief counselors hosting the chat. 2nd thing was a book "Saying goodbye to the pet you love" was absolutely the best of more than a dozen books on pet loss I read. May be in your library.

Harpurr's Mom

The Zoo Keeper said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I cried with you while reading the blog. God bless you!

Cats of Wildcat Woods said...

Sending sweet loving purrs to you in your loss. Our kitties are very good at hiding how they feel so please do not blame yourself at all. Just remember the love.

Percy the Cat said...

We are so very sorry for your loss. Lautrec was such a handsome, mancatly gentlemancat. We know he's at the Bridge.

Purrs and purrayers are going out to you.

Anonymous said...

blogging site is short for what keyword phrase
http://ivyplan.net/blog/view/59764/face-painter-thought-about
http://hosting0340540.az.pl/bos/link/6170
http://www.t100b.ru/index.php?title=%D0%A3%D1%87%D0%B0%D1%81%D1%82%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%BA:Janelle42
http://memodified.com/index.php?do=/blog/98526/fast-car-keys-present-in-party-rentals-resolved/
http://360fmtv.com/buzzz/blogs/user/ZacheryGal